Dressed for Myself.

wear-what-i-want

I dress for me.  And so should you 🙂

One thing I don’t love is the insinuation that a person should dress for anyone other than themselves; closely followed by an intense hatred for the idea many have that their opinion of an outfit matters.  BYE.

I wear what I want…it expresses my mood and whatever look/style/persona I wish to exude.  It has:

  1. precisely the right amount of comfort for my mood
  2. items that suit my movement patterns
  3. pieces that suit my shape
  4. colors that flatter my complexion
  5. materials that feel good
  6. layers as needed for weather concerns
  7. proper foundations so as not to look like a stuffed sausage, pig in a blanket, or ‘busted can of biscuits’
  8. been considered from many angles before being worn

Think for yourself.  Do you want to be:

  • Girl Hot (dressing so females approve)
  • Guy Hot (dressing so males approve)
  • You Hot (i.e. like here – dressing so you feel good in what you wear and love how it looks – cheers to this lady!)

Be You Hot.

No outfit, makeup, hair extensions, plastic surgery, and et cetera will ever make you truly like yourself – that is an inside job [By the way, Whose are you?  If you belong to Christ, think about how He sees you…He laid down His life to redeem you!  And I mean KEEP thinking about it.  If you aren’t, perhaps it is something to pursue!  In Touch is a great place to start.  As is Love Worth Finding.  🙂 ].

Although, while working on the inside, it isn’t too hard to find things to wear that flatter and/or start fitness programs to spruce things up a bit.

Love who/where you are on the way to who/what you will become.

I wish more women were like this and perhaps it is a clarity that comes with age?  Relationships are hard, but they are even harder when one party has internal issues about/with themselves.  I do get that some bodies are harder to dress than others…BUT…doesn’t wearing what flatters feel so much better than squeezing into trends that don’t suit?   Yes, it does.

This side of 30, I think through trends before trying them…and those that I do try, I brutally assess how they look/flatter/etc:

  • Neon Yellow never worked for me…I don’t have the coloring or thinness to pull it off.
    • Many other colors are avoided for sake of complexion and corpulence.
  • Flowy things – add girth 😐
  • Liquid leather leggings – just NO.
  • Blazers – tend to be a fail because designers moronically love shoulder pads.
  • Pleats – not going to be bothered with maintaining…and cleaners never get that right.
  • Backless – another thing that doesn’t work but looks SO cute on others.
  • Super deep v-neck -> vulgar 😐

Any item that I am spending money on will be seriously and soberly evaluated.  I wanted the Thighland for MONTHS…got it, tried it…was utterly disgusted.  Infant concurred 😐  [another thing, I get feedback from people I know won’t hold back]  They were sent back the next day.

-> good riddance to bad rubbish <-

There is NO forcing an item to work because it is an It Thing or looks great on another.

Compare and despair.  If you really love everything you wear, are you inclined to compare?  Benchmark perhaps if you see a good idea you never would have thought of…but compare good/better/best…that’s weird.  One should know when stepping up of the game is needed.

My girl M said something when we were in our 20s that resonated…and I do benchmark using her ideas because she has some good ones that never would occur to me…’if I am going to wear a tee, I’ll step it up with cute heels/accessories/etc.’ -> perfect sense and just as easy as schlepping about looking like a hobo.  Obviously, I won’t always be wearing heels, but I will make sure everything else is cute…

I’m a blog reader [mine is just a dumping ground for me to process things and plan – I’m still learning, by all means comment/jeer/etc but I’m really not an example [yet, perhaps that is a goal] – God is still working with me!].

Today’s idea to think through was Girl Hot verses Boy Hot…isn’t Hot enough?  Clearly it isn’t.  Apparently some things we girls like, guys hate…like vehemently hate:

  1. dark/bright hues on nails, eyes or lips
  2. super trendy items
  3. top knots

There is likely more, but the article didn’t list them.  WELL…I’ll decorate my person however I wish.  I’ll be modest, tasteful, appropriate, and all other things good manners dictate.  Any dude with me will need to know his place that I can dress myself without help…and I tend to share that upfront lest they err.  If I want an opinion, I’ll ask…and though I generally will NOT ask, if I do it is more along the lines of this outfit/shoe/etc or that one…but I’m healthy and whole and don’t need a parent.  Nor do I live and die for praise.  I’m not a child.

Dressing for anyone other than oneself seems childish and needy [<- I also shoot from the hip 🙂 ].  If that is what a person does, it’s time to soul-search and figure out:

  • what they lack
    • what they are expecting from others
  • why they lack it
    • no blame but honest assessment like:
      • family of origin issues
        • parent who had a bad self-image
        • super critical of everything
        • parents that lived through you such that you couldn’t be your true self
        • perfectionist demands
        • identity stifling
        • in the beginning of Anna Karenina Tolstoy said – “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” -> what family of origin issue could be the culprit?
      • self-image impacting trauma
        • divorce
        • abuse
        • severe setback
        • bad breakup
        • ETC
      • OR do you just simply covet what others have – not sure what the cause for that could be…I’m no specialist 🙂 but chronic coveting is an issue
      • the reason could be anything…but to correct a problem, you must know what it is and how deep it reaches
  • how they are going to repair the damage
    • big picture -> what needs to change overall
    • small picture -> how to implement damage repair plans (should be small incremental changes that can be built on over time…small changes last longer…radical 180’s tend to be short-lived and bolstered by deception)
  • who are safe people who can help during the process (book here – amazing read…Boundaries is another…and Changes that Heal)
    • be real with yourself
    • don’t give bad behaviors a pass
    • correct offenders – speaking the truth in love
    • pray for new friends/contacts -> God really will send new people!

I’m not sure why this is on my heart today – and I vacillate between being sad for the insecure and annoyed by them…the fact remains, it’s only by God’s grace that I’m not.  So, rather than act on annoyance -> how can I help/nurture?

Action Plan

Compliment where it is due.

Suggest where things are wrong.

Show interest in how people do things…ask questions and follow-up.

Share books/blogs/etc. that can help.

Host events that foster relating/sharing.

Check my irritation.  If I’m irritated, perhaps that is my impetus to start helping.

Note to self -> consider God’s loving kindness toward you!

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