Be real. Fake is stagnant and completely lacking in interest – and sad quite frankly; real however, is interesting, dynamic, fluid, and allows for change and growth. Accept and appreciate who/where/what/etc you are on the way to what you think you want [as often times what we think we want, really isn’t what we need…or as good as we thought it would be]. Beauty is in the path traveled just as much as the destination.
“All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”
Parents do the best they can given who they are and who raised them. None are perfect – surprise, surprise. Adults shouldn’t:
- blame their parents for personal failings…your life choices are your own
- act as if they are owed something by their parents [entitlement is gross]
- criticize parents efforts – they did the best they could, given what they had and even if they did NOT, God allowed it for the kid’s good and His [God’s] glory. THE END.
What is the point of complaining now? Don’t like it -> raise yours differently or give yourself what you think you didn’t have…what else can be done? Any one can find fault – that isn’t terribly creative or useful. Pity parties are ugly.
Advice -> Determine to live for, learn about, and lean on Him and anything is a tool in His capable hands.
Imperfect Family Example
Secular though it is – I LOVE, like really love, The Originals. It is a super imperfect family…interesting members, and members who are not. Not sure why I didn’t bother adding Freya to the collage above. I’m not sure about her…yet. She seems good but broken so far, I just haven’t seen the full extent.
- The parents – yikes…many good sentiments have gone wrong with these two…love made Esther turn her children into monsters…morality and duty made Mikael hunt them…SAD…thank God that isn’t my story! And what won’t women do to have babies…poor Freya.
- Finn & Kol – I don’t like either of these guys…Kol is undisciplined and selfish [until Davina]…Finn is a suck-up mamma’s boy…neither seem to understand or care to exist well with their siblings…
- Dying to be loved and accepted while fearing abandonment.
- Brilliant tactician/strategist.
- Not all bad – I never saw him as all bad…just the type to justify the means by the ends. Sometimes selfish ends and sometimes not.
- Moral and fierce about his family.
- I love the way he speaks…men really should get back to that. I hate slang. I also hate poor intonation.
- Bit of a martyr for his kin though…sometimes siblings make dumb choices and it isn’t for you to stop or fix…perhaps he is a tad of an enabler…
- Repeatedly denied love – despite generous beauty. How sad…lots of loving and losing.
- Surly…but I guess who wouldn’t be…
- In the end, she goes hard for family.
I have a thing, where I always love the ‘bad guy’ of a show…I know he isn’t all bad because no one is…nor is anyone forever cursed to bad choices…and when he does good, it costs him more. I almost expect to see redeeming qualities. This isn’t always the case, but I always hope for it. To see people turn from erroneous ways! Besides, even the best among us are broken sinners. My Pa always said, “don’t compare bad to bad.” Makes sense as it is kind of like the pot calling the kettle black.
I love Elijah as much as Klaus…similar yet different. They each remind me that, choices impact character more than biology. And also that motive can be of the utmost importance in regards to good vs. bad.
- Great parents can produce horrible and entitled brats…bad parents can produce the next COO, etc. Parents can produce one monster and one angel…anything can happen! I’ve found it is best to not be too prideful about a good upbringing or ashamed of a not-so-good one. Who are we to assess what God has ordained for us?
- The why is just as important as the what…many people do all the right things for cracked, flawed, and wrong reasons. Nothing makes a good deed fall flat quicker than bad motives.
I also see that good and bad aren’t simple or black and white – they are relative…and momentary. Consequences may not be…but in general, a bad choice today doesn’t guarantee future bad choices [though it gets easier with repetition 😐 ]. One always has the option of beginning again -> rightly. The converse is true also – one good choice does not make me a good person…I can always make a subsequent wrong choice. I also weigh what a deed costs a person. The sacrifice impresses me…for some it is easy to be nice or benevolent or whatever…for others it takes effort and dying to self. I think we each have ease with some virtues and must strive to adopt/enact/etc others.
Repeated deeds build character. I tend toward perfectionism so I frequently have to remind myself, I don’t live there [past choices – good and bad, neither have real bearing on what I choose now] anymore. I need to always be focused on doing good now! Past is prologue in that:
- I can see growth compared to past iterations of myself.
- I know some things that don’t work -> tweak how I move ahead.
- I’ve a history or seeing God work in my life…not just the general knowledge from reading and studying. I’ve seen Him make a way from no way FOR ME. I’ve seen people cross my path for various purposes that caused growth and turning to Him… Knowing for yourself changes things…makes it more real to you – brings out that boldness to share and ask Him for anything [according to His will of course 🙂 ]…it’s tangible in ways the experiences of others can never be.
Note to self -> keep striving. You are here for a reason – behave like it and get/do/see/learn all you can. Constantly check your motives! Be wise as a serpent and blameless as a dove! Let my parents know I’m grateful. Let Infant know I’m doing my best!