I shop because I can.
I shouldn’t, but I can.
I don’t party, get drunk (or do drugs), eat out [on my dime anyway], have loads of bills or serially date.
I worship (Sunday & Tuesday), work, study, read, spend time with family & friends, trudge around at various school-age athletic events, and (until now) shop.
So, in the absence of shopping I have spare time to think a bit and also chat with my besties a bit…make goals…analyze failures…update outdated ways of thinking.
Another great chat with M yielded thoughts to ponder:
- should one choose someone based on potential
- is it foolish to assume growth will happen
- existing in a time in history of discarding and replacing people
- not letting the past dishearten
- accepting past decisions regarding relationships
- praying for heightened discernment
I’ve tried it my way…didn’t go so well. My next ‘date’ will be burning bush clear that he is from or at least approved by God…I’ve had my belly full of idiots…Mr. Wrongs of all varieties!
Mr. Nice Guy
This guy has great manners and is generally nice. He is affable enough but utterly devoid of ambition, interest, and many times intelligence. He is nice but he isn’t the least bit interested in growing as a human or much less in Christ. He also isn’t interesting. If you aren’t discussing dumb stuff, you aren’t discussing anything. I’m not even looking for deep – but thoughtful is a must!
NEEDS MUST so NO thanks. 😐
Arrogant and self-important! Beyond belief! All about him and what he wants. He listens if you talk -> about him…always expecting praise. [more here]
Entitled. YUCK. Will use whoever to get whatever.
Lacks empathy unless feigning it will garner him praise.
He is above the rules of mere mortals. He is better than you! Don’t you know how lucky you are?! HUGE EYE ROLL HERE.
Problems [that he creates] are never his fault.
You feel like your worth [to him] is directly related to how impressive you look on his arm or what you can do for him [covert gold digger lol].
He also has serious disregard for feelings other than his own.
Then there is the gas-lighting…not good for your mental health.
Gifts are always those that he can use too – um no, call me selfish but if I get a gift it should be for me only unless, and I likely would, I choose to share. I don’t like dirty motives in gift giving.
DO A FLO-JO SPRINT IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION. This dude is trouble in all caps. He’s a charmer at first – but it doesn’t last. It is a thin veneer to the discerning! This one scares me more than a little. I don’t like being tricked.
Mr. Uncouth Buffoon aka Mr. Humor
This clown lacks maturity as demonstrated by stupid ringtones, using humor to gloss over what is a serious maturity issue. He likely has stupid immature clothing to match the DUMB ringtone. Teenage level maturity. Likely has other bad life choices due to said maturity lack.
Hard pass and give me a rather HUGE barf bag. 😦
Mr. Slick aka Mr. Shady
This one here seems sincere, may even make his initial approach in a church or otherwise respectable setting. He’s a dab hand at affecting sincerity – expressions, phrases, etc. Attempts to say just the right things to garner notice. In my experience, if this dude isn’t secretly married [Lord protect me and reveal them quickly!], he has at least one other lady-friend and is just hedging his bets.
If she doesn’t want you, why would I? Cheaper to keep her dude. It takes two, and if you are shady to her, you will surely be so to me!
What is with all these married dudes acting single?
Oh my…a dude with the emotions that are stereotypically applied to overly dramatic histrionic women. He barely knows you but will proffer many premature statements:
‘hold me’ – in a first text
‘I love you’ – in a very short timeframe when no character can be known
‘I need you in my life’ – IDK, I think you may need Jesus to fill that void…I can’t do that!
‘I’ve never clicked with anyone like I have with you’
‘we could have a great life’
Or he attempts to get too chummy with family…or showing up where he isn’t invited. CREEPY. Moving too fast indicates diminished intelligence or suspect motives in my book and experience. People go down the aisle with too much hidden these days!
I’m sure some women would appreciate this as flattering interest and effort – NOT this one.
Oh my – he just might be the sweetest most thoughtful ever or the biggest lunatic…depends on the day.
It is all good when he gets his way…if not, he is all ultimatums, silent treatment, and rude phone disconnections.
R.E.D Flag! RUN!
Or so he says.
He reads his bible and goes to church but there is NO discernible fruit. NONE. He has the lingo and favorite verses about how he will be blessed and his enemies won’t prosper as he may actually attend church or grew up in one.
However, the direction of his life isn’t toward increasing godliness…I think the word is religiosity. He can apply the bible (he may even be Mr. Bible-Thumper) to your shortcomings but his are excused as ‘nobody’s perfect’ 😐
No thanks…walking the walk is hard enough.
Mr. Wants a Sugar Mama
Just NO. A man who doesn’t work shouldn’t eat either. If you add nothing, expect nothing. I’m fine on my own. This dude has sized you up good and proper – and found you to have what he lacks – MONEY.
It may be rude, but laughing in his face seems appropriate 🙂
Can’t be sure of his motives.
He seems okay but you can’t be sure.
He shares but not a lot.
He does good to and for others.
Well, if the Holy Spirit isn’t a spirit of confusion, all of the above seems like confusion.
The best course is to wait on the Lord and to not lean on your own under standing! He coul be fine – but without more information, guard your heart! 🙂
I’m sure there are more I’ve yet to meet and if I do they will be chronicled so I don’t forget…they are indeed lessons. They clarify requirements and expectations in ways that can’t be done via reading a book or untested ideas. For example, seeing that bible reading isn’t affecting the behavior is telling – especially when the same bible convicts me!
I am far from perfect, but I don’t need bad company! And, according to my Pa, bad is bad…a little bad or a lot bad. No point comparing bad to bad. However, it’s hard not to…Mr. Nice Guy is way better than Mr. Narcissist (kindness, safety, general manners) – but neither will bring the joy that Mr. From God & Loves God will.
I think a lot of times people ignore subtle warnings and even red flags because they are:
In a hurry to check off a milestone
Coveting what they see in the life of another
Trying to fill a God-sized hole with one of His creations
-> Lack of wisdom or bad motives. Ask God for wisdom in this, He won’t deny you!
I’d rather meet Mr. Truly Godly 🙂 I also know I am a work in progress – but the operative word is progress. I know in my own ways and strength I will not find the fictitious Mr. Right!
Tony Evans, in a video said to follow God, if there is a man for you, He knows where he is! Why didn’t I think of that! 🙂 Trust God, seek His face, study His word, and live obediently leaving BOTH the results and consequences up to Him.
Note to self -> WAIT and really seek God in what is a legitimate wish list item and what isn’t.
The name of the Lord is a strong fortress; the godly run to him and are safe.